Internal Language
by Nine Alternatives
Summary: Harry's last two years through his and Ginny's eyes - she's desperate for him, and he can't see it. How might it all end? Please Review. HarryGinny and RonHermione
1. Thoughts in the North Tower

Chapter 1 – Ginny.  
  
Ginny sat on the hard stone floor of the North tower. She was staring out into the cold night sky. To an onlooker she would have looked emotionless; a statue. Only she knew what was happening underneath the sugar coated exterior, and only she could stop it. She was sure she couldn't have been the only student in the whole damn school to be feeling the way she was. Lord Voldemort was back, and no one could do anything about it. She feared for her family, her friends, and most of all her love.  
  
Ginny could talk to The Boy Who Lived now, she could look him in the eye, she could even stand to undermine him on occasion, but her feelings for him had been the same since she had first seen him, and, if possible, they were growing every day.  
  
Harry would walk past her in the corridor, he would smile, the occasional wink, and she would respond with the arching of a perfect eyebrow, or a small smile at him. Nothing more, nothing less. She was sure he could never think of her as anything but a friend, for God's sake she was his best mate's little sister. Ginny cursed the world for creating all this in such a way so that the prospect of a relationship with Harry was near to impossible. She willed things to be how they were in her dreams; Voldemort had been long since defeated, she had no worries, no cares in the world. Harry would hold her in her dreams, and his smile would belong to her. She would control his emotions; she would tease him, she would give to him whatever he desired, and he to her, but most of all she would love him.  
  
Ginny scolded herself for daydreaming again. What was the point in having these fantasies? It only made the harsh step back to reality sting even more.  
  
The wind suddenly picked up, and she felt the sharp hint of a tear on her face. No one could describe the feelings she had for Harry. She thought about him every second of the day, but when she was with him, she always felt she never made the most out of it. She felt that at this rate Harry would never know her true character.  
  
The cogs in Ginny's brain started to turn. She could feel it happening. She hated this, she never trusted herself on her own. Thinking of future events terrified her, so she tried to prevent herself from doing so.  
  
"Shit, shit, no, not this again." She could hear herself murmuring, for in her head she was doing the maths yet again. She had just started her 5th year at Hogwarts, meaning that Harry was beginning his 6th. The final battle would, no doubt, occur at the end of his 7th year (her 6th). This meant she would have just under two years left of being with him at school, or maybe she only had two more years left of him full stop. Who knew? Voldemort was one of the most powerful wizards ever to walk this Earth, and Harry, well Harry was just a boy. And even if he did survive, after he left Hogwarts there was a possibility she may never see him again, he would be gone, off doing something adventurous while she completed her final year at Hogwarts.  
  
"No, that won't happen. He's best mates with Ron for God's sake; of course I'll see him again." The girl had a point. Wit the exception of Fred and George, Ron and Ginny were the two closest siblings in the Weasley family, and she was fully confident that she would visit him frequently when they were not near each other. This gave her confidence, because, with Ron, came Harry, and vice versa. This was all assuming that both Harry and Ron were still around after the end of their 7th year. Everyone who knew both Harry and Ron knew that they would always remain loyal to each other, no matter what. This meant that Ron would no doubt have some part in The Final Battle. Ginny knew Ron would happily die for Harry, and, although Harry would do the same, that situation would never arise, as it was Harry who was The Chosen One.  
  
Ginny was still a bit confused about all that business. She was not sure why it was Harry who would be the one to defeat Voldemort, and she did not know how it was supposed to end. Only a strict few people knew what that prophecy had said exactly, and, as usual, Ginny wasn't one of them. That was another thing, she did not mean to be the stereotypical nagging younger sister, but she wished she could be included in the trio's schemes and plans. No one seemed to understand that she would soon be a woman, and that she could handle anything anyone decided to throw at her. There was so much more to Ginny Weasley than anyone could imagine. She kept herself to herself, never sharing any of her thoughts or worries with others, not that there were many people to share things with.  
  
Ginny had friends, she had lots, but not many of them really meant a lot to her. Ginny regarded a real friend as someone whom she would die for. She knew it seemed slightly extreme, but, in all truth, that is what friendship is about, isn't it? A true friend is someone whom you would rather be dead than live without. But, saying this, she would have died for Harry, but she was not sure whether he would have done the same for her.  
  
Suddenly a beautiful owl swooshed past her, she recognized it at once.  
  
"Hi Hedwig, sorry I don't have any food to give you. Why don't you try Harry? He might have something for you." The stunning snowy owl nipped her affectionately on the hand, and gracefully took flight. Ginny watched the bird descend smoothly in the direction of the Gryffindor tower, and decided she should do the same. It was, after all, late September, and Ginny was only wearing an old thin nightdress with a rather worn cloak over it, causing her to feel the chill of the Scotland night air.  
  
She silently made her way towards Gryffindor tower, her bare feet slapping the cold stone floor softly. It wasn't long before she was prodding the picture of the Fat Lady, attempting to wake the portrait from her oh so frequent slumber.  
  
"What do you want?" The irritable painting snapped.  
  
"To get in..."  
  
"Password?"  
  
"Leones Dormient"  
  
"Very well."  
  
Ginny climbed through the portrait hole and into the common room. The only source of light was the glowing embers in the fire place, meaning shadow was cast on the circular room. She sighed with disappointment. It wasn't like she was expecting anything, or anyone, it was just a let down, always the same. Actually, if she was honest with herself, it would have been nice to see Him there, sitting by the fire, in need of someone to talk to. For it had happened before, Harry had been in need of someone to talk to, and that someone had ended up being Ginny. But she wasn't sure whether it was purely out of circumstance that he came to her, or he sought her out especially, because he enjoyed her company.  
  
Slowly Ginny made her way up to the girls' dormitories, careful not to wake anyone. She lay down on her bed and fell asleep in an instant, not allowing herself to fall any deeper into thought.  
  
What she didn't know was that she had not been the only Gryffindor deep in thought that night, and she had also not been alone in the common room those few seconds before. A bespectacled boy had been sitting in an armchair deep in shadows. She had walked straight past him, too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice him. 


	2. Lack of Sleep

Chapter 2 - Harry  
  
Little Ginny Weasley had been right in thinking that she was not the only student awake with worries that night. Who could blame Harry, though? Very few people could possibly comprehend what he was going through, namely because very few people even knew the whole story. He still hadn't told Ron and Hermione. He loved those two dearly, possibly more than anyone in the world, but they never reacted well to things such as this. Ron would panic and run straight to Dumbledore, and Hermione would panic and head to the library. Neither of these solutions would be much good for this; Dumbledore could do nothing about it, and Harry was pretty sure that no books could have been written on the subject.  
  
Late at night Harry could often be found sitting in the shadows of the common room, hands to his temples, deep in thought. He couldn't stand to be in the dormitory, couldn't stand to hear the peaceful sleep of the four boys around him while he lay awake desperately trying to fall asleep.  
  
Harry's main thought had always been 'why me?' Why did all this have to happen to him? He wished he could be a normal wizard (if there ever was such a thing) but it appeared fate was against him. He knew over the years Ron had become slightly sick and tired of being known as 'Harry Potter's mate' but he also knew that Ron knew that there was nothing he could do about it. Ron got jealous of him, and occasionally he wished he could be the famous one, he wished he could be The Boy Who Lived. What Ron had failed to realise over the years was that Harry would have given anything to be him. Harry would have given anything to be part of such a loving, supportive family. Harry would have given anything to be just another wizard. But things don't always work out that way.  
  
Now it was 6th year Harry had to concentrate on his schoolwork. He had less than two years until he took his NEWTs, and that was not a long time. Schoolwork was a huge dilemma for him. He had to work hard, because if he wanted to become something half decent he would need good grades, but that was assuming he lived to see 18 summers. But, then, if he did not work, and concentrated entirely on working on his DADA in order to defeat Voldemort, after the Dark Lord was dead, what would he do? Another problem was that there was no telling what Voldemort would throw at him. Of course he would need to know basic DADA spells, and occlumency, but no one knew what would happen during the final battle.  
  
"Why couldn't the bloody prophecy have been about the last battle?" He asked the empty common room angrily.  
  
Harry had talked the schoolwork problem over with Dumbledore previously, and they had decided it best that he find a balance between the two. This was easier said than done. What with quidditch practice (for Harry was not the captain), the excessive amount of work, DA meetings, and his preparing for The Final Battle, Harry was finding it hard to cope. The lack of sleep didn't help, but he didn't generally feel tired.  
  
Slowly sleep crept up on him, and his heavy eyelids began to finally close. Light patterns danced in front of his eyes like fire, and suddenly he was gone; sleeping. 


	3. Talks and the Headmaster

Chapter 3 – Ginny  
  
Ginny awoke the next morning to the autumnal sunshine nearly blinding her due to her lack if closed curtains. Ginny did not like the mornings, but then nor does anyone. Her spirits soared, however, when she realised which day it was – Saturday.  
  
Ginny had developed a love for the weekends in her OWL year. Of course they had homework, but she could easily do that on Friday evening, and leave the next two days free. She decided that this weekend she would mostly stay in the common room, maybe venture down to visit Hagrid, or maybe attempt to find Ron, and spend some time with him. Ginny almost laughed at herself with that thought, she knew that 'spending time with Ron' in fact meant being near to Harry, for she loved to simply be close to him.  
  
It was early; Ginny had not managed a good night's sleep. Her morose mood from last night had gone away, for now. After managing to make herself look as respectable as possible, she made her way down to the common room intent on finding Ron.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Morning, Gin."  
  
"What are you doing down here?"  
  
"Couldn't sleep last night, decided to come down here for a think..." He trailed off.  
  
"Don't worry; I know the feeling, mate."  
  
Ginny went to sit down in the chair opposite Harry. He studied her intently.  
  
"Harry... what are you doing?"  
  
"You look... sad."  
  
"Oh I'm just tired."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
And so they talked. All the while Ginny holding back, keeping the subject on school, friends; normal things. She could not tell what he was thinking, he did, however, seem interested in her life. She hated the way he did this to her, but she desperately loved him for it. He did not know how much he was torturing her by talking to her, laughing with her, he was just a genuinely nice person, and she knew this.  
  
Harry's mood swings had clamed down since last year. Everyone else had hated that aspect of him, but Ginny had always thought it was admirable, for years before that he had kept his feelings bottled up inside him, and they had to come out sometime. She loved how he was so fiery; a true Gryffindor. But then she loved everything about him, she doubted he could do anything which she could not help but marvel at.  
  
At about 10:30 Hermione padded down the girls' staircase to the common room. The circular room had slowly filled up with people over the course of an hour or so, and now it was pretty crowded. She came down to find Ginny and Harry chatting in a corner. She smiled. She knew Ginny had a crush on Harry (Ginny thanked God every day that Hermione did not know the sheer magnitude of this "crush").  
  
Another reason why Hermione was smiling was that Harry was smiling. To see her best friend look cheerful was a rare event nowadays. After last summer's brush with death, the trio had become noticeably subdued. Especially Harry. But then everyone in the Wizarding World was worried. Ron was 'cacking himself' – as he so articulately put it.  
  
"Hermione, hey." Harry greeted his friend with genuine cheer.  
  
"Alright?" Ron had come up behind Hermione and pinched her side to make her jump.  
  
"Jesus Christ, that isn't what I need first thing in the morning, Ronald Weasley."  
  
"Ahem." Harry cleared his throat so as to distract the two from their mindless quarrelling.  
  
The two of them sat down and they held the conversation until lunch time found them sitting in the Great Hall.  
  
Harry  
  
As they were walking into the great hall two 5th year Gryffindor girls started squealing Ginny's name, and she ran over to sit with them. Harry realised she was a popular girl, probably the most popular in her year, and he could see why. She was so easy to talk to, and he could relate to her in some ways. It had, after all, been her whom Voldemort had controlled in her 1st year; and she knew how it felt.  
  
Ginny knew how it felt to have no power over herself; to have no control over what she could or could not choose to do. She could be sympathetic to him like no one else. He really valued her friendship.  
  
Ron had been hinting at her all morning to leave, but had stopped when Harry nudged him hard in the ribs. Why should she leave? He was enjoying her company; she wasn't doing any harm to anyone by being there. But he could understand what it might be like for Ron. Hogwarts was a place where he could be rid of his huge family, and having his little sister there all the time wasn't really his idea of fun. Harry had a shrewd suspicion that Ron's relationship with Ginny was the same as it had been with his former 'rat', Scabbers. Ron had complained about the rat endlessly for two and a half years, but when he thought he had lost him Ron had been devastated. In the same way Ron had been terrified when Tom Riddle had stolen Ginny from Hogwarts and taken her to the Chamber of Secrets in their 2nd year. Ron complained about Ginny, but he was the most protective over her of all his brothers (much to her annoyance).  
  
Harry watched Ginny as she ate. She was a good few seats down from him, but he was able to look at her without anyone noticing. There was something about her which he couldn't figure out. Subconsciously he knew there was something about her, there was more to her than people realized, but consciously he thought nothing more of it.  
  
After breakfast Professor McGonagall called Harry's name, and beckoned him towards her.  
  
"Potter, the headmaster wants to see you now; report to his office straight away."  
  
As she said this, McGonagall's harsh exterior faltered for a second, and there was a pronounced flash of a mix of fear and sadness in her eyes. Harry chose to ignore it, and made his way to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Country Fudge" (It appeared old Dumbledore had discovered a liking for the muggle sweet) Harry grimaced at the hideous gargoyles in front of him. He had always hated those gargoyles. They stood in the corridor and watched you as you walked past. Their gnarled hands curled as if about to lash out, and their leering smiles following you through the shadows were enough to give anyone the shivers.  
  
Without warning the hidden door before him sprang open, and Professor Snape swept out, very nearly colliding with Harry.  
  
"Excuse me, Potter." Snape shot Harry a venomous look and continued down the corridor. Harry watched him turn a corner, and slowly mounted the escalating staircase towards the headmaster's office.  
  
This office had become somewhat familiar to Harry in the past couple of weeks. Dumbledore liked to check up on Harry regularly; Harry suspected it was because he felt guilty about the prolonged absence of his advice throughout Harry's 5th year.  
  
Before he knew it he was standing outside the, now, oh so familiar oversized mahogany door and knocking.  
  
The door creaked open slowly, to reveal the circular office in which Dumbledore resided. The huge armchair behind the desk had its back to Harry for a second, until it swung round to reveal a tired looking headmaster.  
  
"Harry"  
  
Harry was not sure how to respond to this, he decided to try and sound as normal as possible.  
  
"Yes, headmaster?"  
"I have just had a visit from Professor Snape; it appears Voldemort has gathered a lot more support over the summer, and we are being told to be careful in whatever we do. For this reason, I must insist that you stay within Hogwarts' grounds."  
  
Inwardly Harry was cursing Dumbledore. 'How dare he? He didn't know fucking anything. He wasn't fucking there last year, what the fuck could he know? Jesus Christ he thinks he has all the bloody answers, well fuck him.' - It was then that Harry stopped himself. Dumbledore only wanted to protect him. He made a mental note to keep his future mood swings the same as this one: inside his head.  
  
All this thinking happened in a couple of seconds, and all he could answer with, was a simple "Okay".  
  
Dumbledore chatted for a bit; it was mostly a one sided conversation. Harry's good mood from earlier had been sufficiently ruined with the prospect of the lack of future Hogsmeade visits.  
  
Eventually he was dismissed, and headed quickly back to the common room. Upon entering, he heard a small gasp from a cluster of first years near the portrait hole. By now Harry knew that people staring at him did him no harm, but he still hated it. He chose to ignore the eleven year olds, and scanned the common room quickly for his friends. There was no sign of Hermione, nor any of Ron. He saw a flash of red hair, and realized it was Ginny.  
  
"Hi, Harry."  
  
"Hi. Erm, you haven't seen Hermione or Ron have you?"  
  
"Oh, uhmmm, I think they went to the owlery to send a letter to Mum, you can wait here for them if you want."  
  
"No, it's alright; I'll go and find them myself. Well... bye."  
  
And he walked away, with no idea of what he had just done.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Bugger; guess what I forgot. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story; they all belong to J.K. Rowling.  
  
Okay, thanks to the two people who reviewed, I only started this a couple of days ago, and I'm not proofreading it or anything, so if you see any mistakes that annoy you, feel free to tell me and I'll change it. Please review; this is my first fic, and I don't consider myself any sort of writer, so tell me if you like it and tell me if you don't.  
  
Jaquelyne – cheers for the review. Yeah I know they're lost, but wouldn't you be? Heh, anyway, cheers.  
  
Gevans – Thank you so much, that was so nice of you to say that. In answer to your question, I suppose I learnt to write like this from English teachers? I'm not all that old, so my writing isn't very good yet, but you know. Anyway, thanks for reviewing, I hope you enjoy the rest of it.  
  
Anyone else who reads this, please review, I'd really like the feedback.  
  
Cheers. 


	4. Old Wounds

Chapter 4 – Ginny  
  
That hurt. That really hurt. For someone whom you think about every second of the day to do that to you, the pain is unimaginable. Ginny knew that for Harry it had been simple; he wanted to talk to Ron and Hermione, so he departed to find them. For her it was so much more.  
  
The boy she loved had just openly expressed a desire to be somewhere other than with her. Maybe he hated her, maybe stupid things she did got on his nerves, maybe he had never even liked her, maybe he despised her maybe he...  
  
Ginny scolded herself. She was reading too much into it. He simply wanted to be with his friends, that was all.  
  
All of a sudden the common room was too loud for her. She could not face the shame of sitting there. She rose quickly from her seat; intent on finding somewhere quiet to sit. While she walked she panicked about what had just happened. People could have been watching; maybe someone noticed the pain in her eyes; maybe someone noticed her feel her wrist uneasily. Slowly she lifted the sleeve of her thick black robe; a grotesque pattern of scars lay on her left wrist. She examined them, the old ones, now familiar to her, and then the fresh ones, dark streaks of pain embedded in her skin; a constant reminder of pain, suffering, lust, self hate. Ginny knew she wasn't good enough. Why didn't Harry love her? What was wrong with her?  
  
These thoughts had chased each other round her brain since she was eleven years old. Sometimes they faded, sometimes she wondered why she was being so ridiculous, and she almost managed to convince herself that she was not unhealthily obsessed with the boy. Almost.  
  
But why would he love her? How could he? She didn't consider herself pretty; if she was pretty, he would have fallen in love with her by now. There were pretty girls whom she saw him looking at. A picture of Cho Chang burst into her head without warning. She has seen them together. She had seen it the first time they kissed.  
  
_ All of a sudden Ginny realised that she had forgotten her wand. Cursing herself for being so stupid she turned around and opened the door to the Room of Requirement. The sight she saw made her heart stop dead. Her blood turned cold with jealousy. For, there, standing before her, was the love of her life. He was kissing another girl_.  
  
Ginny remembered running down the corridor crying. She remembered sitting in an empty classroom for Merlin knows how long. She remembered running back to retrieve her wand, and, with a pang, she remembered what had happened next.  
  
_ It was not often that one saw a beautiful girl running down the corridors of Hogwarts weeping. Consequently, when this painful sight met his eyes, Michael Corner could not help but go after her. He vaguely knew Ginny Weasley; he had certainly looked at her before. Occasionally he had watched her in lessons, she somewhat enticed him, and he didn't know why.  
  
Forgetting that he should have returned to the Ravenclaw common room a while ago, he followed the sobbing redhead into a Charms classroom.  
  
"Ginny?"  
  
"Michael!" The girl squeaked. She didn't think anyone had seen her.  
  
"What's wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned,  
  
"Nothing, I I I'm fine." She hurriedly wiped the tears away from her ace in an attempt to look vaguely cheerful. She failed.  
  
"Erm, do you want to talk about it?" Like many boys his age, Michael was at a loss when girls cried. He did, however, recall that girls liked to talk about things.  
  
"No, thank you. But thanks for asking." She knew he didn't really want to talk about it, and she would have rather died than done so.  
  
"Oh, right." He hoped his patent relief didn't show. She smiled._

_  
__ There was a long silence. Eventually he went to sit down beside her. A silent tear rolled down her face; Michael gingerly wiped it away.  
  
Ginny jumped as he touched her face. He smiled, and turned her face towards his. Ginny's heart was hammering fast; she prayed that he wouldn't hear it. She had never kissed anyone before, and was sure she'd get it wrong. Thoughts raced round her brain, she felt dizzy. Suddenly his lips were coming towards her. She could do nothing but stay still.  
  
His lips touched hers lightly. He pulled back and looked at her. She could make no movement, she attempted a smile, but all that happened was one side of her mouth turning up slightly at the end. Michael laughed. He kissed her again. This time properly. Ginny wasn't sure if she liked it or not; it was... strange. They kissed for a small amount of time (Michael obviously seemed to be enjoying it and she didn't want to break it off) until Michael remembered what time it was.  
  
"Shit, babe, we had better be getting back."  
  
All Ginny could do was nod. She had the distinct impression that she looked like a mildly surprised fish. The word 'Babe' echoed in her head. She thought it was a terribly odd thing to say, but assumed it was the thing to do.  
  
Michael walked her to the common room, and kissed her at the end of the corridor.  
  
"Same place, 7 o'clock tomorrow. Be there."  
  
Ginny nodded yet again, and walked down the corridor in a daze. She entered the common room and ran straight up to the shower room. She had not forgotten what she had seen Harry doing. It hurt like hell. Her insides were stinging. What had she been doing kissing that other boy? She thought this as she silently ran an old pocket knife down the inside of her arm. It dug in hard, and the blood started running. She hated herself for kissing the other boy. The long hard tears in her skin were starting to sting, and she could no longer cut herself.  
  
She sat there thinking for hours. She decided that she would see Michael again. Why the fuck not? Harry was obviously too involved with Cho to ever even notice her. And, maybe this would make him jealous. If he did have feelings for her, this might trigger them. She could kiss Michael and think of Harry, imagine Harry's lips touching her in this same way. Imagine Harry showing her the passion which Michael could. She didn't know what to do; she loved Harry; what if Harry had intended on finally admitting that he loved her back on this night? She could not let Harry find out about herself and Michael yet, she could not let anyone find out yet. She considered this thought for a second; her mind kept turning over, and suddenly opposite thoughts to the ones which she had been contemplating a second before would swallow her attention. What was she to do? One minute she was convinced that Harry hated her; the next minute she was wondering if he had felt the same way as her for these past years. It wasn't impossible, was it?  
  
She continued these manic thoughts all night; all the while blood flowing freely from her flawless white skin._  
  
Ginny remembered the midnight meetings with Michael well. She was sure she had never felt anything more than untamed sexually frustrated lust for the boy, and he her. She only ever wanted Harry; wincing she remembered how she used to think of Harry when she and Michael kissed, when they touched, and, regrettably, when they had sex. For it had been Michael who had taken Virginia's Virginity, it shouldn't have been, but it was. He wasn't a bad boy, but Ginny doubted he had ever really cared for her. At the time Ginny didn't mind; she figured she was going to have sex sometime, why not make it now? So she had done it, and had thought of Harry all the way through. That night she had been depressed. She had drunk too many shots of Fire whiskey, and her senses had dulled somewhat.  
  
She and Michael had split up a few weeks after that night; Ginny hadn't been upset, she had never felt anything real for him.  
  
BAM  
  
"Jesus, watch out, Gin!"  
  
Ginny had walked smack bang into Ron, Hermione and Harry. Ginny quickly shook her arm so that her sleeve covered her scars.  
  
"Sorry, didn't see you."  
  
"Gin... we were right in front of you."  
  
"Yeah..." Ginny replied; she had a vacant expression on her face. The only thing she could think about was to avoid Harry's eyes. She could feel them boring into her; she knew he thought her peculiar.  
  
"Right, well, bye, Gin."  
  
Ginny walked off without saying anything, Hermione, Ron and Harry watched her back disappear round a corner, and walked away.  
  
Whilst wandering aimlessly about the school, Ginny decided something; she must try and stop loving Harry. Although it pained her to admit it, he did not love her, and he never would.  
  
Ginny returned to the common room that night intent on walking straight past Harry without a second glance. It worked that time, and she managed it, but, as she reached the top of the Girls' staircase, and turned around to watch him for a second, she felt a sinking feeling deep inside herself. Was she ever going to be able to refrain from thinking about the boy?  
  
Thanks for the review, Nat. I took your advice. I was wondering about doing it before; I hope it's easier for you lot to read now.  
  
I know that things don't happen in that exact order in Order of the Phoenix with Michael, but I changed it to fit my story, which was a bit naughty. I hope you liked the flashback. Keep reviewing, please.  
  
Nine Alternatives.


	5. A Midnight Liaison

Chapter 5 - Harry  
  
As Harry made his way to the Great Hall on Monday morning he had a lot on his mind. His little "chat" with Dumbledore had put him in a bad mood for the last couple of days, namely because Harry generally tried to avoid thinking about what lay ahead of him, and the talk had made everything appear so much closer.  
  
Harry's mood lightened somewhat, however, when he saw Cho. She waved him over and they talked for a little while about this and that. Cho had approached Harry at the beginning of the year, and asked if they could reconcile their differences. She had admitted that Marietta had been wrong to do what she had done, and that eventually the hideous acne had faded. Since then Harry and Cho had become friends again. They greeted each other in the corridor etc; to anyone else it would have been obvious that Cho was after Harry, but, Harry being the modest boy he was didn't realise.  
  
Harry's friends had commented on his friendship with Cho; of course Hermione was more encouraging than Ron. Ron had never particularly liked Cho, and did not entirely approve of what seemed to be happening between the two of them; he still loathed Marietta for her stupid decision a few months previously.  
  
Whilst Cho and Harry were talking, she, without warning, asked him if he wanted to meet up that night. Harry blushed furiously; he was glad Cho's gaggle of giggling girlfriends had started having an, ahem, intellectual conversation about a good looking 6th year Hufflepuff.  
  
"Erm, what for? Do you want some help with your DADA?"  
  
"You could say that."  
  
"Alright, Room of Requirement at 7?"  
  
"See you later, then." Cho had turned back to her friends; and Harry was left standing there. He wondered whether Cho really wanted to practice her DADA; she seemed to be doing pretty well at the meetings.  
  
Harry scanned the Gryffindor table for Hermione and Ron; they didn't seem to be there. He saw Neville and so made to go and sit with him.  
  
Over the next few minutes the space around Harry and Neville filled up quickly; Lavender, Parvati, Dean and Seamus turned up to sit with them, there was, however, no sign of Ron or Hermione. Harry assumed Ron had talked Hermione into "helping" him with his Transfiguration essay due in that morning.  
  
Harry was marginally happier this morning than he had previously; he was finally getting back into the swing of school. The subjects he took were still hard, especially Potions, but if he wanted to be an auror then he would have to get his act together.  
  
Harry was also learning to juggle his other commitments with the school work. The Quidditch season was in full swing: Hufflepuff had lost to Ravenclaw 160-20; it had been a short, rather uneventful game, Cho Chang had caught the snitch within a matter of minutes. Hufflepuff really needed to clean up their act if they were going to beat Gryffindor a fortnight later.  
  
Harry had been working the team like mad. It appeared all those years of Oliver drumming complex tactics into his head had finally had an effect. The other members of the team occasionally worried about Harry's manic enthusiasm, often wondering if he was completely right in the head, but, in the end, decided he just really wanted that cup.  
  
Harry had had to make a few minor changes to the team at the beginning of the year. The make-shift team which had been put together in his, Fred's and George's absence was far from up to scratch. For a start, he was without two chasers. Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson had finished their 7th year last July, meaning Harry had to find two more. The try outs had been rather eventful; a nervous first year had managed to, apparently, confuse himself with the ball, and hurl himself through one of the bubble blower-esque hoops at one end of the pitch. Fortunately Harry had been warned of events such as these happening by Madam Hooch, and so was able to slow the fall, and the boy remained unharmed. Needless to say, he wouldn't be joining the team that year. Ginny Weasley was by far the best there, and Harry accepted her straight away, impressed by her swift tactics. Sometimes he wondered how she had gotten so good, but then remembered all her brothers, and how they would have probably needed her to make up numbers in their family games.  
  
The second chaser was a much harder one to find, there just didn't seem to be anyone up to scratch. In the end Harry decided that Seamus would do for the job, he could pass and catch swiftly, and showed good potential.  
  
Fred and George had also left the previous year, but Harry decided to keep the Creevey brothers as beaters, they did a fair job and were very enthusiastic.  
  
Ron was to be Keeper again; after the 'Weasley is our King' fiasco at the end of last year he had become pretty confident, so of course his play had improved immensely.  
  
Harry's team was not ideal, but it would have to do, and with all the extra practices, they seemed to be on their way to victory. Ron and Ginny knew most of all that the one thing which would cheer Harry up would be winning the cup, and so were working their arses off.  
  
The rest of the day was without incidents. Harry couldn't keep his mind off Cho; at the end of the last year he had had a vast dislike for the creature, but he had decided that after their talk at the beginning of the year he was just as besotted with her now as he had been a year previously.  
  
Before he knew it, it was 10 minutes to 7, and he was making his way to the Room of Requirement. He had mumbled something about seeing McGonagall to Ron and Hermione; of course they had accepted it at face value, he often had one on ones with the teachers nowadays.  
  
He was in the corridor walking towards the Room of Requirement. With every step his heart beat faster. He didn't even know why he was so nervous, it was him getting his hopes up; Cho only wanted to practice her DADA with him. Nothing else was going to happen.  
  
Harry was worried; being alone in a room with her might lead to things. He was, after all, a 16 year old boy, and there is only one thing 16 year old boys really want. Harry had never really had time for a girl friend, all he had ever done was kiss Cho last year, and that had been it. Subconsciously he knew that he could have had any number of the girls at Hogwarts, but Harry was not a shallow person. (Saying this, the reason he first noticed Cho was because of her stunning looks).  
  
He had reached the door to the Room of Requirement. His hand rested on the doorknob, he didn't know what to expect. With a sigh he turned the handle, and his heart sank when he saw the pillows on the floor which they always used for the DA. However, on second glance, the room appeared quite different; the book cases had disappeared and the pillows were laid out on the floor in an organized fashion.  
  
Sitting on a chair in the corner of the room was Cho. She looked slightly nervous. Harry flattened his hair.  
  
"Hi"  
  
"Hi, Harry."  
  
"Erm; how are you?" Harry was searching desperately for something to say, he was racking his brains. The silence was embarrassingly awkward, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.  
  
"Harry?" Harry looked up. "I still really like you, you know?" Harry's heart soared, he had been beginning to think that coming here was a huge mistake; it did not, however, make him any less nervous; quite the contrary, in fact.  
  
Cho stood up and walked over to him. She stood in front of him, a good head shorter than he was, for he had grown over the summer. They looked at each other for a while, Harry didn't know about Cho, but he didn't have a clue what to do. After what seemed like an eternity, Cho stood on her tiptoes and kissed Harry lightly on the lips. It was amazing; Harry rarely had intimacy with anyone any more. She pulled away, and he couldn't stand it. He took hold of her shoulders, leaned in and kissed her, a hard kiss.  
  
They kept on like that for Merlin knows how long. Harry didn't know how they had ended up lying on the bed of pillows, but he was suddenly very wary when Cho's hands travelled towards his flies. He wanted to so much, but decided that it was better if they didn't. Besides, if Cho had have touched him, he felt he may have exploded.  
  
"But, don't you want to?"  
  
"I do, just not tonight. Oh shit, it's nearly 12; we had better be getting back. I'll walk you to your common room if you want." Harry wondered how the hell the time had gone so fast.  
  
"No, it's alright, but thanks for offering."  
  
Cho looked rather flushed; she uttered a "Night, Harry" and left. Harry remained standing there for a second, in awe of what had just happened.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Shite chapter I know, but it was just to get something going on. Sorry about the long wait, I've got more written, I just need to make adjustments etc.  
  
Keep reviewing,  
  
Nine Alternatives.  
  
P.S. - Do you think I should include some Ron/Hermione on the side? I think I'm going to but I'm not sure. 


	6. Confident Smiles and Confused Frowns

Chapter 6  
  
The term sped past, and before anyone knew it, it was December and the castle was being decorated for Christmas. The term was certainly in full swing; the new first years had settled in, and had even become somewhat cocky.  
  
Harry and Cho's late night meetings had carried on happening sporadically. It was always Cho who controlled them; she seemed to be in two minds about the situation, as if she was not sure that this was what she wanted. She, however, was always the more enthusiastic during their meetings; Harry had still not forgotten Cedric, he couldn't help but wonder that if Cedric were still alive, he and Cho would most likely not be having these secret dates.  
  
Harry enjoyed the mystery of it all; the suggestive smiles in corridors, and the thrill of getting caught. There was not much chance they could get caught though, Harry assumed Cho made up feasible excuses, and Ron and Hermione assumed he was meeting with the teachers. They left him alone a lot these days, as they knew it was what he wanted. It was sad that they weren't joined at the hip anymore, but this was the way it was meant to be. They were still best friends of course, but Harry didn't like being around people constantly anymore. He spent vast amounts of time sitting in his dormitory mulling things over in his brain; occasionally Ron would come up to check on him, and they would chat for a few minutes, but Ron would always retreat back downstairs after long, because he knew it was what Harry wanted. There were no hard feelings; Hermione and Ron both imagined that they would want the same thing if they were in a situation the same as Harry's, so left it alone.  
  
Ron got frustrated occasionally, though. They never did find out exactly what the prophecy had said, and so were still somewhat in the dark about the full extent of their friend's destiny. Harry would sense Ron getting angry sometimes, and he would feel bad, but he knew that neither Ron nor Hermione should know what had to take place. He was sure they would have pretty much guessed it a long time ago, but not the exact details.  
  
Hermione had asked Harry if he wanted to talk about Sirius a few times; naturally he had declined, but was genuinely grateful for her concern. Harry enjoyed his time with Hermione; occasionally Ron would go to practice Quidditch, or sometimes he would just disappear completely, and Harry and Hermione would be left alone. Harry supposed that it was because Hermione was a girl that she was so good at understanding things, and generally seemed cheerful. This was why it was such a shock one day when she entered the common room looking half heart broken and half livid.  
  
"Hi, Hermione" Harry had not yet fully noticed her woeful expression, having been engrossed in his DADA homework.  
  
"What the fuck's going on with him?" Hermione kicked the chair softly; a few people looked up. She noticed the stare, and sat down. Harry had had her full attention since she said the word 'fuck'. Hermione was more partial to swear now than she had been three years ago, but it was a rare occasion to hear a word like that pass her lips.  
  
"Who?" Despite his attention, Harry hadn't a clue what the girl was on about.  
  
"Who d'you think?" She shot a venomous look at him. Harry knew this wasn't good, but he was still completely in the dark about what she was trying to convey.  
  
"Hermione, I'm really sorry, mate, but I've got no idea what you're on about" Harry knew he was pushing her, but this was going to get nowhere if he didn't find out soon, and Hermione looked close to breaking point.  
  
"I just walked in on something which I – well, put it this way, I shouldn't have done."  
  
"Go on..." Harry was interested to know what was going on, although he had half guessed it already.  
  
"Well I was just coming back from the library, when I saw Ron walking down a corridor near the Charms rooms, you know?" Harry nodded his head slowly. "And, well, I saw him go into a classroom, and I did call his name, but he obviously didn't hear me, so I followed him." Harry knew his first assumptions had been correct by now, and he tried to stop himself from smiling, still acting as though he was as clueless as he had been previously.  
  
"Yeah... and?"  
  
Hermione looked as if the words weren't coming all that easily. After a few seconds she came out with "And, well, I looked through the glass on the door, and I saw Ron, I saw Ron, with Padma Patil."  
  
"You saw him with her?" Harry raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, they were... Oh Harry, they were kissing!" Harry suppressed a small laugh; he knew Hermione did not see this situation as an amusing one.  
  
"Right... and what's so wrong with that?"  
  
"Good God, Harry, did you know?  
  
"What? Of course I didn't, I'm just not all that surprised."  
  
"Not all that surprised? What? How could you say that? He never mentioned it to either of us, and anyway, I always thought he had his eye on someone else." Hermione's tone quietened and she lowered her eyes to her knees.  
  
"Hermione, did you ever consider the possibility that just maybe he never thought the other person liked him back?"  
  
Hermione looked as of she was thinking intently. Both she and Harry knew exactly who this other mystery person was; her. Harry went back to scanning his essay, and smiled inwardly. He was glad that Ron had gone off and found someone else, maybe this would finally make him realise how much he loved the broken hearted girl sitting in front of Harry.  
  
"What I don't understand is, why Padma? At the Yule Ball they hardly even talked to each other, they never hit it off!"  
  
"Mate, he's a seventeen year old boy, and, believe me, he would have anyone at the moment."  
  
Hermione did not seem contented by the last comment; Harry supposed she couldn't understand it, and she probably couldn't. What he wasn't expecting, however, was her next comment.  
  
"Who's yours then?"  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Your girl."  
  
"Sorry?" Harry knew he would have to end up revealing all, but had a small portion of hope left inside him telling him that if he acted as though he didn't have a clue what she was on about, she would leave it. Unfortunately Hermione could never leave anything,  
  
"Oh, Harry, I've known you too long for this. I'm not stupid, just tell me."  
  
Harry swallowed hard, "Cho"  
  
"Ah, so it did finally happen for you two?"  
  
"It seems so."  
  
"Harry, I don't mean to be horrible or anything, but, just be careful."  
  
Harry knew Hermione hadn't meant to be malicious by the last comment, but could not help feeling slightly offended. He knew to what she was referring; last year's debacle with Marietta had caused Hermione not to trust Cho. Harry, however, liked her a lot, and so decided to ignore Hermione's words.  
  
Looking back at her, Harry realised Hermione was still very upset, and was just about to get her to read his Potions essay in an attempt to cheer her up, when Ron came marching through the portrait hole towards them.  
  
"Evening all" Harry couldn't help smiling at Ron's good mood.  
  
"Alright? Where have you been?" Harry loved seeing Ron squirm.  
  
"Library, so much homework these days, you know how it is." Harry nodded, stifling a chuckle.  
  
"That's odd, I didn't see you there." Hermione was seriously pissed off with Ron, and she equally wanted to make him uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh, well, I must have been at the other end, and I left early, had to talk to Ginny."  
  
"Right, well I'm going to bed." Hermione got up, dusted herself down, and strode towards the girls' dormitories.  
  
"Ron sat down in her seat and watched her walk away. "It's a bit early for her to be going to bed, isn't it?"  
  
Harry just threw Ron an exasperated look and smiled at his book.  
  
**^^**  
  
Later on, whilst lying in bed, Harry smiled. He knew that this thing with Padma was purely animal, and that Ron would realise sooner or later that he loved Hermione. With a frown at his last thought Harry rolled over, was his and Cho's relationship purely animal?  
  
What he didn't realise was, this thing with Cho was causing him to miss the blindingly obvious: Ginny.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Well, that was my next chapter.  
  
I know there's been lots of Harry recently, but the next few bits will be mainly Ginny, so don't think it's all going to be about Harry.  
  
Mithrandir – thank you for the review, yeah, I really think the Cho thing is important, and so had to include it.  
  
Dementorchic – Thank you! I hate Cho too... she's a biatch...  
  
Thanks to the other reviewers. – Keep doing it!  
  
Thanks,  
  
Nine Alternatives. 


	7. A Solitary Tear

Chapter 7 – Ginny  
  
It was Christmas Eve. Ginny sat in her empty dormitory (all her room mates had gone home this year) thinking.  
  
Fuck.  
  
She knew she shouldn't be thinking again, this would lead to bad things, she was sure of it.  
  
Nothing had happened on the Harry front, well, nothing good worth reporting. – She didn't like the way she did this; every so often she would sit on her own and relive recent events, considering the consequences, and whether they would have anything to do with her and Harry.  
  
She decided to be honest with herself.  
  
She had seen those sideways looks he gave the girl, the way the girl's thin lips would curl into a malevolent smile when she saw him. She saw Harry's palms get sweaty; she saw the blood rush to his cheeks, and she saw him loosen his tie every time the girl neared.  
  
Ginny sighed. She knew there was something going on between them; it was all too obvious, why hadn't anyone else noticed?  
  
Inwardly Ginny knew the answer to that question; no one studied him as close as she did. She had to admit she was good at it though. The way their timetables were written meant that they passed each other in the corridors rather a lot. Ginny had these small times mapped out in her head; if she hadn't seen Harry she would bend down to tie her shoelace, or pretend she had forgotten a book, so that she could wait for him to walk past. Ginny knew this was obsessive behaviour, and that she had to try and stop, but she just couldn't. It was all worth it when he would brush past her and throw her an amused look whilst Ron and Hermione bickered incessantly behind him.  
  
That, however, was only when he noticed her. Harry was looking subdued more often these days, and so occasionally didn't notice her. She was sure it were crucial for him to acknowledge her; if he saw her a lot then maybe he would think about her more often.  
  
It was so hard for Ginny to think of Harry and Cho as an item; she had had suspicions about them getting together for what seemed like an age. It was when she started noticing the oh so obvious signs that she started tearing herself apart on the inside.  
  
A few weeks or so ago Harry had revealed to Hermione the truth about his sordid affairs with Cho. The day after she heard, Hermione had told Ginny. Ginny recalled the day well. She had tried to look nonchalant about the whole thing, smiling slightly when Hermione told her. It hadn't come as that much of a surprise, though, because she was a perceptive girl.  
  
Hermione also told her about seeing Ron getting off with some Ravenclaw. It didn't surprise Ginny; Ron had obviously given up hope of being with Hermione many years ago. Ginny knew they had o get it together sometime. When, however, was completely beyond her. All she knew was that Hermione had had the same reaction to Ron and Padma as Ron had had to Hermione and Krum.  
  
When she thought about it, Hermione and Ron were obviously meant to be together; they were made for each other. Whether they got together was an entirely different matter, though.  
  
Up until now Ginny had completely convinced herself that she and Harry were destined for each other; she was sure that someday they should be together. After all, how could she love him this much for no reason? The glitch to her idea was evident: he didn't love her. Ron and Hermione both loved each other, that was for sure, but Harry had never shown the slightest sign of being physically attracted to Ginny. But she didn't believe she could stop loving him; a person cannot do that at the drop of a hat. If Harry wasn't there, there would be no point in living, she was sure of it.  
  
As she lay there, she considered how good it would have been if Harry had grown up to be either a complete prick, or devastatingly hideous. Surely then she wouldn't love him?  
  
Fuck.  
  
Not again. Ginny couldn't think of things like this; there would be no more 'What if's in her life. Something her mother had once told her rang in the back of her head:  
  
"Ginny Weasley, the more time you spend with your head in the clouds, the more painful the fall back to the ground will be."  
  
Ginny knew this statement was completely true. Once again her fingers ran up and down the scarred inside of her left forearm. This was what The Boy Who Lived had reduced her to; this was what he did to her.  
  
The most puzzling thing about it was that she didn't know why. Sure, he was good looking, he was kind hearted, he was passionate; he was pretty much ideal, but then why didn't everyone else feel the same as her? She was sure no one felt the way she did about him; she knew for a fact that Cho felt very little of what she herself felt. Cho was just a girl using a boy with whom she had flirted for years. Cho couldn't know how it felt to need Harry as much as Ginny did, yet she was the one with him. After careful consideration of the problem, a memory came hurtling through her brain, and she remembered waking up in the Chamber of Secrets to Harry's worried yet beautiful face. Of course, he had saved her life; that had to be it, that had to be the reason why she loved him. Or did it? Ginny distinctly remembered having an infatuation with Harry before she came to Hogwarts; in fact, she recalled loving the idea of him before she had even met him. Him being a household name, she had grown up hearing about how Voldemort had been defeated by this wonder-boy when he had been just a baby. Ginny had worked out a good few years before meeting the scrawny, nervous boy at Kings Cross that he would be in the same year as Ron at Hogwarts. It had been she, she who had always loved him, she who had vowed to stand by him, and she whom he deserved to love; not that fucking Cho.  
  
Ginny wondered if they had had sex yet; she hoped to god they hadn't, and she was right. She figured that if Harry had had sex he would have told either Ron or Hermione, both of whom would have told her, so it was alright... for the moment, anyway.  
  
Sitting there, she wondered what it would be like to be able to tell someone else about her feelings for Harry (someone real, that is). Ginny was sure Tom didn't count as a confidant, seeing as it had never really been him, just a shadow of him.  
  
Ginny still found it odd how people tended to forget about Tom; she had been possessed by The Dark Lord on and off for a year, and it was never mentioned. Sometimes when references were made to Tom Ginny's chest would start to tighten, and her breathing would become sharp, but no one ever noticed. When he was mentioned it reminded her that a glimmer of him would live in her forever. Ginny felt tainted because of this, like somehow she wasn't worthy anymore. How could Harry ever love a girl who had a part of his one true enemy inside her?  
  
----  
  
What Ginny had never thought of, though, was that Harry had a part of Voldemort inside himself as well, and when two people contain a sparkle of a wizard as powerful as Voldemort's magic, they become the same in a small way. Ginny, however, never even considered this; she was always too wrapped up in thinking about how different she and Harry were, and how they could never be together to consider how very similar they had become. She had displayed the fact that she had been possessed by Tom once to Harry in her fourth year, just before they left for the Ministry of Magic. She remembered how it had surprised him, how he had obviously never thought of going to Ginny for advice, but then why would he?  
  
---  
  
Unfortunately, Ginny was right. Harry barely ever did notice her; when he did, she would make him smile. Harry had always liked the fact that little Ginny had grown up to be a clever, beautiful girl; he had always liked the fact that when she was younger she loved him, it had amused him somewhat. A little girl blushing and breaking things whenever he neared, a slightly older girl sending him Valentines, and now a young woman who, when he saw her, would raise her eyebrows to him in a jokingly disgusted fashion, and then laugh.  
  
For Ginny was fully able to act normal around Harry; no one could ever tell how she felt. Although she didn't realise it, this was exactly the problem. If someone else had only realised what she was going through, they would have been able to help her, but Ginny was too clever. Ginny hid behind a mask of false smiles and sarcastic remarks, her friends thought her quirky and sometimes said she was too detached, but no one sensed anything.  
  
With a sigh, Ginny stood up slowly and walked over to her dressing table. She sat down on an oak chair and picked up a hairbrush. People teased her about being vain, but really it was just a habit; she would look in the mirror and hate what she saw, but there was never any way of changing it, so why bother? She slid the brush down her auburn locks; all the way down to her elbows, until there would be no more hair to brush.  
  
Finally she decided she had better get some sleep, she suspected tomorrow would be a long day, and so would need her rest. And, as she lay on her four poster in her empty dormitory, her eyes closed, and a small, silent tear rolled down her cheek. She didn't notice. She never noticed anymore.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Wow, were you impressed with the speed of that chapter? I bloody well was, I'll tell you that much. Just Ginny waffling, but it will have a point later, and I'll have a new and hopefully better chapter up soon.  
  
Once again, endless thanks to those of you reviewing; seriously, if you read the fic, please review. You wouldn't think so, but it really brightens up my evening (please don't laugh at my misfortune of having been reduced to this...)  
  
Nat – Yeah, I very much agree, I have a feeling this story may become rather biased towards Cho, oh well... Hermione Gardiner – Short and sweet, cheers. Neptunestar – To get more of vat you requested you vill just haff to read on and vait and see. (Sorry about the German accent there, no idea what I did that for) Mithrandir – And why shouldn't you say anything? Teenage boys fascinate me. Thank you for the review, it made me laugh. Dementorchic – thank youuuuu  
  
Thank you so much,  
  
Nine Alternatives 


	8. Merry Christmas, Harry

Chapter 8 – Harry  
  
Harry awoke on Christmas morning to find the usual pile of presents at the foot of his bed. It still always surprised the boy that people actually wanted to give him presents, but he never complained.  
  
Looking to his right, Harry saw Ron's sleepy eyes open, and then widen when he remembered which day it was.  
  
"Open your presents then!" Ron rarely thought about anything else around Christmas.  
  
"Alright then" Harry smiled.  
  
He had received quite a collection of presents this year; at first glance the pile hadn't looked so big, but, evidently lots of people had thought to send him gifts.  
  
From Mrs Weasley he received a red jumper knitted jumper with a golden snitch on the front (he smiled at this; he had become very fond of Mrs Weasley and her jumpers over the years). She had also thought to send Harry a box of toffees, remembering he had liked the in the summer.  
  
All of Harry's other presents were excellent: he was given a small disc with a dial on it (he had no idea what it was until Ron exclaimed, "wow, Harry! A populuscope! That's like a sneakoscope, only it tells when someone's near, and you can set the dial for how far away you want it to detect someone being!" And, sure enough, when Harry flicked the dial slightly, the populuscope began to vibrate softly, and when Ron came nearer, it vibrated harder.  
  
"Who's it from, Harry?"  
  
"Dunno" – Harry was beginning to think that this was another one of these anonymous gifts he had become accustomed to getting, but, apparently not; there was a small note. It read:  
  
Harry, With this and the Marauders Map, you should be able to get around Hogwarts pretty easily at night. Merry Christmas, R. Lupin  
  
Harry felt a pang of sadness; he suspected that Lupin had felt bad about the fact that Sirius couldn't have sent Harry a present this year.  
  
From Tonks he received a sort of muggle necklace with a black strap and some sort of tooth attached to it. Along with the gift there was a message:  
  
Harry mate, The tooth was one of Sirius' dog fangs, I thought you might want it for good luck (plus I'm told the girls like things like this nowadays). Chin up, Tonks.  
  
After reading the bit about the particular tooth, Harry decided he would treasure the necklace. He put it on, also hoping that the bit about the girls liking it was true.  
  
Hermione had given Harry a book called "World Cup Quidditch Manoeuvres" which had inside it diagrams and information about every single Quidditch move Harry could think of; he loved it.  
  
Hagrid had sent Harry a huge leather bound book apparently with no title. Harry was apprehensive about opening it (the memory of the monster book fiasco from a couple of years ago had made itself clear in his head) but when he did, was pleasantly surprised. It was a book all about dragons, Harry laughed at this, because anyone who knew Hagrid would know that he had always wanted a dragon (another memory pushed its way forward in Harry's head: Norbert). As Harry turned the pages, the illustrations roared at him, and arched their backs, snarling. "Wow, Hagrid" he thought inwardly.  
  
Among the remaining was a small parcel with what he recognized as Ginny's hand writing on it. All of a sudden he was glad he had given her the necklace he did, as he hadn't been sure at the time that she was going to give him a present. As he opened the small package a miniature snitch fluttered out; it was exactly the same as a normal snitch, but less than half the size. Inside the wrapping was written,  
  
Something to practice with, not that you need it. Gin.  
  
"Cool" he muttered as he fingered the golden ball.  
  
The next present he opened was from Cho. He blushed as he remembered what he had sent her: a red rose and red knickers to match. He didn't even know why he'd done it, it was so out of character, but he had asked Ron to get something for her in Hogsmeade, and that's what he had come back with. At least Cho was at home now, so he didn't have to see her for another couple of weeks.  
  
The penultimate present was very big, and very oddly shaped; Harry opened it to discover a mass of packages of Wizarding jokes, all with big labels on them saying 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes". At this, Harry burst out laughing. It looked as though they had sent him their whole stock. Harry knew Fred and George had become very well off through their new joke shop, and so supposed they could afford this. After having a look at all the merchandise he noticed a card. Inside was written,  
  
Harry! Hope you're doing alright, mate, and I hope you like the present! After all, it's all down to you that we made this. You helped us spread mischief and mayhem to the world; therefore we will be forever in your debt. Keep the trouble we caused at Hogwarts alive with these supplies, Fred and George  
  
The last package on the pile had no writing on the outside, and no visible card. It was quite big, and rather heavy when Harry picked it up. Harry unwrapped it to find a note above more wrapping, on the note it said:  
  
Harry, do not let anyone else know you possess this, not even Ron or Hermione. Unwrap it when no one is around. Merry Christmas.  
  
There was no signature at the bottom, but Harry knew that handwriting; he had seen it once before. He remembered instantly what it had said the last time he had read it:  
  
Use it well.  
  
So the mystery present was from Dumbledore. Ron was occupied with his own presents, so didn't notice Harry slip the parcel under the bed for later. He sat staring into space, however, for a minute or so, until Ron chucked a present at him, and he did the same back (though Harry's gift for Ron was somewhat bigger, so it was more of a pass rather than a throw). He had asked Hermione to buy Ron anything in Honeydukes which she thought he would like, and she had come back with a huge box of sweets which made you do all sorts of crazy things.  
  
Harry opened the rectangular shaped parcel from Ron, and he wondered why the hell the boy had bought him a book. First of all, a book was more Hermione's area, and secondly, why would Harry want a book?  
  
When he opened up to the first page, all became apparent. In very neat italics (Ron had obviously magicked the writing onto the page) said 'First Year' and as he turned over, he saw an assortment of photos which had been taken of the three of them throughout the first year. By some of them Ron had made small comments; for example, while Harry was looking through the photos from his second year, he noticed Ron had taken the liberty of circling drawing an arrow pointing to Lockheart and writing 'TWAT' next to it.  
  
Harry noticed that the pictures were not only of him, Ron and Hermione, but Ron had stuck some other pictures in there too: the Chocolate Frog card displaying Dumbledore (Ron had stuck two in, one displaying the back, and one the front, so that Harry could have a picture of Dumbledore, and so that he could underline the part about Flamel as if to say "And it was on a bloody Chocolate Frog card all the time!"), the newspaper cut out which showed all nine of the Weasleys in Egypt when they won the Prize Draw, another newspaper cut out was in amongst his third year pictures: Sirius, and there was a photo of the original Order of the Phoenix for the section on his fifth year.  
  
Harry looked up at Ron, who had finished marvelling at all his new sweets a while ago, and was now watching Harry anxiously.  
  
"I know it isn't much, but I remember you really liked that one Hagrid gave you with all those photos of your parents, and I wrote home to Mum to ask about it, and she thought it was a really good idea." Ron said this all very quickly, as if to explain it before Harry had the chance to insult the gift.  
  
"Ron, wow" Harry was at a loss for words. What could he say? Ron had gone through all the trouble of finding these pictures for him, and he still didn't think the present would be good enough for Harry.  
  
"You like it?" Ron bit his lip.  
  
"I love it, mate. Seriously, thanks." Harry stood up and clapped Ron on the back; the two obviously thought they were too macho to hug.  
  
"It wasn't hard to find photos for second year and onwards; all I had to do was tell that Creevey kid Ginny would consider going out with him or something and he gave me loads of pictures straight away."  
  
Harry looked up at Ron, one eyebrow raised.  
  
"Well of course I know Ginny won't go out with him, anyway, I wouldn't let her; I don't like the look of him."  
  
Harry nodded and smiled at Ron's protectiveness, he didn't seem to like the look of anyone who had their eye on his little sister. And he sincerely doubted that Ron 'not letting her' would discourage Ginny from seeing anyone, in fact, he was sure it would make her even more determined to do so.  
  
All of a sudden Hermione bustled in,  
  
"Morning, you two" she said briskly.  
  
"Morning Hermione" the two boys chorused.  
  
Hermione looked down and noticed that Harry was still holding the photo album, and said, with a smile on her face,  
  
"Oh, did you like it then?"  
  
Ron looked as if he suddenly remembered something,  
  
"Oh yeah, Hermione helped with it a bit" He said quickly, so that Harry could thank her.  
  
"Yeah, I love it. I can't remember half of these being taken, though. I mean, look at the ones of us in first year, we were so small, and it only seems like yesterday..." The three stood still for a second, all of them wistfully remembering the days of first year. Harry looked through the photo album once again, looking at himself in the pictures; the Harry back then hadn't known anything about all this prophecy shit, he thought to himself.  
  
Harry snapped out of it; he suddenly recalled that daydreaming would get him nowhere.  
  
"You two had better get dressed." Hermione looked pointedly at Ron's paisley pyjamas.  
  
"Not until you go downstairs, Hermione. You're not getting lucky this morning; I already gave you a gift." Ron joked to the girl.  
  
Hermione looked at Ron, and said, very swiftly,  
  
"Ron Weasley, I wouldn't want to see you naked if you were the last boy on Earth" And, with that, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, opened the door, and left. Ron looked very put out, but lightened up when he saw the miniature snitch Ginny had sent Harry,  
  
"Wow, that's cool. Who sent you that?"  
  
"Ginny"  
  
"Really?" Ron looked surprised, "I didn't think she sent stuff as cool as that.  
  
"Well what did she get you?"  
  
"Loads of stuff from Honeydukes."  
  
"Well that's cool."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose so." Ron looked thoughtful. Harry decided to change the subject.  
  
"You know what would be really good to have with my mini snitch?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"My mini Viktor Krum, what ever happened to that?" Harry asked his companion, smiling. He knew what had happened to it, Ron had ripped its limbs off when it had appeared that Hermione and the star quidditch player might be interested in each other.  
  
Ron looked as if he hadn't heard the last comment, and busied himself with getting dressed, leaving Harry laughing heartily.  
  
When the two were both ready, they stood up and opened the dormitory door to go down to the common room.  
  
When Ginny woke up on Christmas morning the first thing she did was to go to the window and look at the grounds. She was expecting the usual green folds of land, but this morning they were white. Ginny never knew what to think about snow; she loved the winter, because she hated the heat, and she loved the look of the snow, but not the actual substance itself. She looked at the beautiful snow for a few minutes, marvelling at the fact that the snow had come on Christmas day. This was the only time she liked the colour white in excess; Ginny was more partial to dark colours, but not at the moment.  
  
Spinning round, Ginny noticed a larger pile than usual at the bottom of her bed, and smiled. She knelt down and picked up the first one.  
  
"Mum" she whispered fondly as she opened the wrapping. Inside there was a box of mince pies wrapped in a red knitted blanket. Ginny had requested that her mother send her no more of those cretinous woolly jumpers, seeing as she never wore them. She opened her mother's card, and opened it out so that it would rest on her chest of drawers.  
  
The presents she had received from her brothers were suitably satisfactory; Ginny loved having so many siblings at Christmas the most, she loved buying them presents just as much as she loved to receive them.  
  
The next present she opened made her heart soar: a beautiful silver chain with an equally beautiful oriental symbol on it. Attached to the gift was a card, inside was written:  
  
Ginny, The symbol means 'hope' in Chinese – I hope you like it. Happy Christmas Harry  
  
Ginny fastened the necklace around her slim pale neck and fingered the pendant.  
  
"Hope" she whispered as she looked at it, and frowned. She didn't think any more of it, though, and proceeded to open the rest of her presents. They were very nice this year, and Ginny also received many a card from boys to whom she had rarely ever spoken.  
  
Smiling, she dressed quickly, after a quick look in the mirror she opened her dormitory door and made her way down to the common room.  
  
As Harry followed Ron downstairs the common room slowly came into view. He saw Hermione leaning against a wall, gazing out of the window.  
  
"What you looking at?" Hermione started, and frowned.  
  
"The snow, Harry."  
  
"There's snow?" It suddenly occurred to Harry that neither he nor Ron had opened the curtains earlier that morning, and so of course couldn't have known.  
  
"Hell yes" a voice from the opposite side of the room startled Harry and he looked up to see Ginny descending from the girls' dormitories.  
  
"Oh, morning, Ginny, happy Christmas, and thanks for the present." Harry smiled at her.  
  
"That's quite alright – same back to you." Harry looked down to see that she was wearing the necklace, and smiled, but did not say anything.  
  
"What time is it, Hermione?" Ron suddenly broke in; Harry presumed he was counting the minutes until lunch time.  
  
"Quarter to eleven, Ron. Honestly, are you ever going to get a watch?" Hermione looked fondly up at the boy, and then shook her head despairingly. Ron scowled; Harry, however, looking closely at Hermione, could see she was smiling.  
  
"What? An hour and a quarter 'til lunch? What the hell are we going to do for that long?" Ron looked nonplussed for a second, and then saw a chess set in the corner. "Harry, you up for a game?" Ron smiled.  
  
"You'll beat me easily, but why not?" Harry picked up the chess set and walked towards the fire to their favourite chairs.  
  
As Harry and Ron began to set up their game, Ginny and Hermione sat in the chairs next to them, and began to chat about their presents. When they had been through everything girly which they had received (during this Ron had snorted several times, and Harry had smiled a lot) they got onto the subject of the cards Ginny had been sent.  
  
"So, who were they from?" Hermione looked interested, she was smiling a lot.  
  
"Just... boys." Ginny threw a sideways look at Ron, who had pretended not to hear her. Obviously eager to get the attention off of herself, Ginny turned back to Hermione: "So, did you get any cards then, Hermione?"  
  
Hermione looked at her feet, blushing, and said,  
  
"A few."  
  
Ron looked up at her sharply,  
  
"Who from?"  
  
"Oh yes, like it's any of your business." Hermione looked up at him, eyebrows raised.  
  
Ron looked angrily at Harry, as if asking for back-up; Harry, however, just smiled at Ron. Ron's ears turned pink, and Harry looked up to catch Ginny's eye, who was silently laughing to herself.  
  
Twelve o'clock arrived quickly, and the four Gryffindors made their way down to the great hall. As they walked through the doors they found that this year the teachers had reverted back to the only-having-one-table- method as there were so few students staying.  
  
As Harry walked in, he felt all eyes turn towards him. 'Bloody hell' he thought 'Why do they still always do that? You'd think they would have got used to me being here by now... wouldn't you?' As he thought this, Harry grimaced to himself, and carried on walking. At the table were professors McGonagall, Trelawney, Snape, Flitwick and Dumbledore – very few. Hagrid was also sitting at the table, along with two Ravenclaw 5th years, a couple of Hufflepuff second years, and a Slytherin 6th year.  
  
"Ah, I was wondering when our Gryffindors would grace us with their presence." Dumbledore looked up at the four teenagers, and smiled, beckoning for them to sit down at the table. Harry sat down, looking around the table; there were very few staying for Christmas this year.  
  
The festivities were most enjoyable. From his cracker Harry got a small purple rubber frog which exploded every now and them, emitting a huge bang, and a cloud of green smoke. He had conversations with Hagrid and Dumbledore, both being very cheerful. Harry had not really spoken to Dumbledore since the incident a couple of months ago where he had been told he could not leave the castle grounds, but, in his good cheer, he managed to forget about his anger, and have fun with the rest. Seeing Dumbledore also reminded him about this strange present he had waiting for him underneath his bed, and he became eager for a moment alone in order to find out what it was.  
  
During the meal Harry caught Snape's eye by accident; it was hard for Harry to look at the Potions teacher in the same way as he used to. How could a person as malicious as Snape be risking his life every day, fighting the good fight? Now when Harry looked at Snape he tried to imagine what the man must be going through; worshipping Voldemort every day, apologizing for doing the right thing. Harry had not heard much news on Voldemort; he assumed that Snape was still working his way in to the Dark Lord's most inner circle, and so could not report much information just yet.  
  
Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron spent the rest of the afternoon having snowball fights in front of the castle. It had been a good Christmas; Harry had managed to half forget about his hectic life, and enjoy the day. However, when he wasn't kept busy for a moment, he would remember Christmas last year, at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius had been happy then, he had been a Godfather to Harry, and, most important of all, he had been alive.  
  
That evening, when Ron had eventually dozed off, Harry lay thinking about the parcel underneath his bed. What did he now possess which not even Ron or Hermione could know about? In the end, he decided it was too much; he had to see what it was. With that, he silently got out of bed, retrieved the brown package, and crept downstairs to the common room. Slowly he unwrapped it, and his eyes widened.  
  
Okay, took me ages, I know, but it's long. SO sorry about this whole chapter 7 being posted over chapter 1 thing, and I have put it right again, but it's taking a while – once again, SO sorry, no idea how it happened. Thank you so much to all the reviewers; I know you get tired of me saying this, but keep at it! Mithrandir – teenage boys, easy to work out? Je pense que tu es CRAZY. Merlin and dreamsofthedead – thank you so much for the reviews, once again, I apologize for the confusion. Once it's right again, go back and read the real first chapter, thanks!  
  
Nine Alternatives 


	9. Someone Else's Memory

Chapter 9 – Harry  
  
He couldn't believe it; in front of him sat a bowl of shimmering light; in front of him sat a Pensieve. Harry sat in awe staring at the object for a few seconds, and then noticed something strange; surely if he hadn't put any thoughts into the magical contraption, there shouldn't be this strange mist in the bowl. Well, there was only one way to find out what it was; he leaned over the bowl, very slowly lowering his head, until the tip of his nose was centimetres away from the silvery gas. All of a sudden, he jerked his head forwards, and was sucked into someone's memory.  
  
As soon as he landed inside this queer circular room, Harry recognized it to be Dumbledore's office, and looked up. Sitting behind the desk was the old wizard, looking straight at Harry – but, wait, this couldn't be right; Harry was only in his memory... he wasn't actually there. It all got stranger when Dumbledore spoke:  
  
"Ah, Harry, Merry Christmas." Harry frowned to himself, how was this happening? This was definitely Dumbledore and his own office though; Harry looked out the window, he could see the green grass of the grounds, Hagrid's hut... But wait, that couldn't be right, there was snow on the grounds earlier. Suddenly Harry realised – Dumbledore must have put this into the Pensieve a while ago, to give Harry something to start off with, or to tell him something important. Harry jumped when Dumbledore spoke again:  
  
"I think I've given you enough time to work out that, when you see this, it will be a memory of mine. I've decided that you should own a Pensieve; they are awfully useful, and I think you have far too many grave thoughts floating around inside that head of yours Harry." Dumbledore appeared morose as he said the last part, and looked at his fingers whilst wearing an exhausted expression. He raised his silver-haired head and appeared to be looking straight at Harry, "I am all too aware of the fact that you have not been pleased with me of late, Harry. I don't blame you, but I want you to know that you must trust me, you have to. Everything I do is for your own safety; training you learn here may just save your life, save all of us." At the last sentence, Harry's heart began to beat faster; he hated thinking about the Final Battle looming in the distance. Dumbledore continued, "I want you to start private defence lessons – I have the perfect person to teach you, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind coming in to help. You will start lessons with him when the holidays finish; I want you to go to Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration room at eight o' clock in the evening on the first Tuesday back." Harry made a mental note to remember that, and tried to think who this mysterious defence person could be.  
  
"I also assume that you desperately want to leave the castle and visit Hogsmeade, but, I'm sorry to say, I still don't think that's a good idea." Harry frowned at the last comment; he had hoped that after having some time to think about it Dumbledore would have somehow changed his mind, and allowed Harry to have a life which revolved around things other than Voldemort. For a moment Dumbledore was silent, and Harry wasn't really sure whether he was going to be sucked out of this particular memory at any given second.  
  
"Harry" Dumbledore lifted his head sharply. "I must ask you this – do not tell anyone about this Pensieve, not even Ron or Hermione. As we both know, memories in these can be all too important." Dumbledore looked severely at where Harry stood, and Harry remembered the end of last year. Dumbledore looked at his crooked fingers one last time, and said "Good evening, Harry." Suddenly Harry felt himself being sucked through time, his skin ripping at his body, and his mind whirling.  
  
Harry looked up to see an empty common room, and his new toy sitting in front of him. He stared at the bowl for a few seconds, and frowned: Dumbledore had never explained how to work the thing. 'Well that's bloody useful' Harry thought. This was obviously another one of the Headmaster's mind tricks wherein Harry had to decide for himself how to solve the problem.  
  
Hmmmm. Harry racked his brains for a thought of how to possibly deposit thoughts into the strange thing which sat before him. He had seen both Snape and Dumbledore do the deed before, and remembered them raising their wands to a temple, and a silvery string gliding out of it. With this thought in his mind, Harry searched his brain for a memory he would like to be rid of. Finally, with a small stabbing feeling, he settled on when Sirius had fallen behind that veil. Thinking of this memory intently, he raised his wand to his temple, and slowly pulled it away. He slowly let his eyes peer round, expecting a silver thread, but they were met with nothing.  
  
"Shit" he muttered. He scolded himself for having thought that something like this would have been so easy. Sitting there he silently began to systematically sift through all the ready memories in his brain, wondering if he had simply chosen the wrong one. He did, however, after a couple more attempts of removing thoughts from his brain, realise that it had nothing to do with the particular recollection he chose to use, and so it must have had something to do with the frame of mind. Harry bloody well knew by now that nothing in magic was simple, so decided to try and figure out how he could do it.  
  
Harry soon realised how stupid he had been; of course, you would have to concentrate on the specific memory hard. Very hard. Harry guessed he would have it clear his head of all thoughts which may obscure the chosen memory, and did so. Having only the memory of Sirius' death in his mind was more than painful, but Harry was intent on it working. Slowly and apprehensively he raised his wand to his temple, and suddenly felt a connection with the piece of wood in his hand, and his mind. Harry could feel the memory, and all the emotions it carried with it, being sucked out of his brain. Quickly he stuck his wand, and the silvery string, into the Pensieve. Harry considered this feeling; it was as though he could still remember Sirius' death, but he couldn't get at it, and no one else could. Harry knew the memory was in a place other than his head, and that it was safe. Thinking about this made Harry's remaining thoughts spin, and so he decided he's had enough for the night. Sighing, he picked up the glass bowl, and carried it carefully up to the dorm, where he silently covered it with one of Dudley's vile old jumpers, and slid it underneath his bed. Harry knew no one could ever know about it, otherwise lots of trouble would be caused. He also knew he mustn't misuse it, lest it might fall into the wrong hands, and dire consequences would surely come to pass.  
  
With that, Harry clambered into bed, and rolled over. After a long day his eyes closed willingly, and he drifted off to sleep peacefully and happily for the first time in a long while.  
  
SO sorry it took me so long, and I know it was so short, but I have had a fucking scary amount of work these past couple of weeks, and just haven't had time. Thanks to reviewers, keep doing it! Mithrandir – made me laugh, as always. Rose – awww thanks, that's so sweet of you to say. Maria – thanks, but I do like my angst, I know, sorry lol. I'll try to get the next one up sooner. Thanks Nine Alteratives. 


	10. Whispers and a Wasted Love

Chapter 10 – Ginny  
  
Ginny woke up on the morning of the first day of term with a heavy heart. With O.W.L.s drawing closer, the fifth years' work load had almost tripled in size. She could tell that this term she would really have to buckle down and do some serious school work. As she reluctantly got dressed she wondered whether Muggle kids had exams in their 5th year, and, if so, were they has bloody hard as O.W.Ls?  
  
On reaching The Great Hall, Ginny was waved over to her room mates, who had decided to leave her to sleep a little longer that morning, after keeping her up late the night before with tales of their adventures over Christmas. She wandered over to them, meanwhile giving the occasional wave or smile to friends in other houses.  
  
When she had half finished her breakfast, Ginny felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up sharply. Good fucking God. It was fucking him, with his hand on her fucking shoulder. She didn't know what to do, so stared at him. Later the girl would scold herself, and be sure she looked like a gormless trout, but for now, the rest of her senses weren't working.  
  
"Gin, I think we're holding a DA meeting next week. So, uhmmm, Monday alright for you?" Harry removed his hand from her shoulder, and frowned to himself slightly, looking puzzled.  
  
"Yeah.. Monday's cool. I – I'm looking forward to it." Ginny's words left her mouth in a rush, tumbling over each other. In her mind she wanted to appear cool, and not too eager, but, when Harry was around, that just wasn't possible.  
  
"I'll see you there then." Harry smiled at her, and wandered off back to Ron and Hermione.  
  
Ginny sat at breakfast for a while, vaguely listening to her friends' pointless chatter, but decided to make her way back to Gryffindor tower in order to get her bag ready for school that morning. As she had woken up late, she hadn't had a chance to get her books ready, and so was just mounting the main stair case, when she bumped into Malfoy.  
"Alright, Ginny?" Malfoy drawled in his excuse for a voice. Ginny kept her eyes down, and tucked her hair behind her ear as Malfoy went on, "Didn't go home for Christmas, then? Your family probably couldn't afford to make the journey to London to pick you up; time is money, and all." As he said this, Malfoy's voice did not sound full of contempt, but rather desperate, as if he needed to insult her, needed to feel above her. Ginny shot him a venomous look, flicked her hair, and carried on walking up the stairs. She couldn't be bothered to argue with Malfoy; she had other things on her mind. When she reached the top of the flight of stairs, she turned around to see Malfoy looking up at her with a puzzled look on her face. He finally tore his eyes away from her, and walked towards the Great Hall.  
  
The rest of the week passed pretty quickly for Ginny. Time was getting short, as OWLs approached, and so the workload had become rather unbearable. Ginny, however, was a clever girl, and could handle it well. Monday approached, and along with it came the DA meeting. The meetings had become popular this year, and Ginny hoped that Harry would remember that she had attended from the start, and it was she who had decided on the name "Dumbledore's Army". Ginny found herself thinking along these lines all too often; she always wondered whether Harry would remember her through everything. She knew he had a soft spot for her, as she had been the little girl who never stopped talking about him, and the little sister of his best friend in the world, and any member of Ron's family was a member of Harry's.  
  
Ginny found herself walking along the corridor to the Room of Requirement all by herself on Monday evening. She had been finishing off a rather taxing Potions essay, and so was a couple of minutes late. As she entered the room, she realised just how popular their club had become; the room had extended itself so as to accommodate all the eager students ready to learn from Harry. Everyone was sitting in silence as Ginny opened the door, and as she came in, she stepped on a creaky floorboard, and interrupted Harry's speech. Fifty faces turned round to face her, all wondering who had dared to show up late to Harry Potter's organisation. Harry looked up as she entered, and, as whispers started, Ginny could only mouth "Fuck. Sorry." to him. Harry laughed, and silenced the group,  
  
"Ahh, Ginny, take a seat." Ginny blushed, and sat down to listen to Harry talking. He was telling the group how he was prepared to teach the basics, and that those who had been members of the DA last year, would help him to train up the new recruits. Ginny liked this idea, because she had learnt what she would need, and was eager to help other people do the same. Harry announced that the team would be helping the newbies to learn Patronuses. There was much excitement about this, and the room filled with silvery blankets of magic in no time. Ginny was busy helping a couple of third years, when Harry came over and said,  
  
"So, young lady, what's your excuse for being late?"  
  
Ginny looked up at him, and simply said "Potions." Harry winced, he knew how bad Snape could be at times.  
  
"Oh right.. That's a good enough excuse, I suppose." He teased. "I was wondering where you'd got to, I mean we couldn't be doing without one of our founding members, eh?" Ginny smiled yet again, and twisted the hair at the nape of her neck round her long, thin, pale fingers.  
  
Just at that moment, some girls in the year below Ginny came scurrying over, desperate for Harry to help them. Ginny knew they only really wanted to talk to Harry, because he really was anyone's dream boy, but Harry would never consider this, so he looked apologetically at Ginny, and said, "I'll see you later. Don't stay up too late." Ginny smiled, nodded, and went back to helping people.  
  
The rest of the DA meeting was a bit of a blur, and, before she knew it, Ginny was back in the common room, sitting on a chair and fiddling with an old quill. She had no homework left after finishing her Potions essay, but was not in the least bit tired. All the work had made her realise just how painfully close her exams were becoming, and she started to panic slightly. She was interrupted by footsteps from the boys' staircase.  
  
Harry had left the bedroom with the intent of sitting in the common room for a while to gather his thoughts. He had got half way down the stairs when he saw the red hair, and then the face of Ginny Weasley, sitting in her uniform by the fire. Harry couldn't help noticing that, without her robes, Ginny looked very different. She had on her grey skirt, which she had taken up, and her shirt had the top two buttons undone, with her tie loose, just resting on her chest. She wore translucent tights, and her legs were tucked up behind her in her chair. Harry unconsciously rubbed the back of his head, and smiled at her. Ginny started when he said,  
  
"Oi, I thought I told you to get to bed early." Ginny looked up, gave him a sour expression and said;  
  
"Yeah well. You stayed up far later when you were my age." Harry nodded, admitting defeat, and carried on down the stairs. He reached the seat opposite her, and sat down. Harry commented that Ginny had looked deep in thought when he arrived, and she explained that it was because of her O.W.L.s, and Harry consoled her by explaining that they were not, in fact, as awful as everyone thought they would be, and that he had done well in them, even though he'd had a lot on his mind. Ginny agreed with him, but still retained that she was allowed to be scared, and Harry couldn't argue with that.  
  
Harry looked at his watch, and realised they'd been talking for a good couple of hours. He remembered that he had his defence lesson, with the mystery person the next day, and Ginny was looking increasingly tired;  
  
"Shit, Gin, look at the time!" Harry got up, and so did Ginny. They both stood up at the same time, and so were standing close to each other. Harry noticed how much he must have grown over the last couple of years, because Ginny never used to be that much smaller than him. He looked down at her porcelain face, which was dotted with freckles, and smiled, saying "Goodnight". He found it so hard to have good conversations these days, except for with Ron and Hermione, and it was so good to have one with Ginny. Harry had loved this new side of Ginny; he remembered noticing it at the end of last year, when she had insisted on accompanying him to the Ministry of Magic, even though neither he nor Ron wanted her there. She could now speak to him, and he figured she had got over her school girl crush on him, and so could act normal around him. What Harry didn't know was that Ginny had never got over the crush; she had just convinced herself that there was no chance of anything ever happening, and so had allowed her personality to shine through.  
  
Ginny stood in the common room for a second. She knew it wasn't good for her to talk to him; it just brought it all back, and she remembered why she liked him so much.  
  
"Fuck" she thought to herself. Shit. What was she going to do now? Way to make the obsession die, Harry.  
  
Haaaar, thought I'd forgotten about you lot? Sorry about the wait, but I have literally had no time. That chapter was a bit crap, but I just had to let you know I was still alive.  
  
Mithrandir Sorry to keep you waiting, you'd better review on this chapter, you know.  
  
Stargirl0505 I truly am sorry if the language in this offends you, but I write the language how I speak it and no one in my family, or anyone I know has any problem with me saying "Jesus" or whatever, so it's hard to remember that when writing. I suppose I'll try, though.  
  
MadJupiter Heh, that was kiiind of Harry/Ginny-ish, I had to give you something about which to read, but, don't worry, there will be romance later on. Don't forget, he's got Cho at the moment. Rarrr.  
  
To everyone else who reviewed, thank you so so much. I will update more frequently, I promise, but I will only do so if you keep reviewing.  
  
Thanks,  
  
Nine Alternatives. 


	11. Kisses Cause Tears

Chapter 11 – Harry  
  
Harry awoke the next morning feeling rather apprehensive; he was not sure why, as he knew Dumbledore would choose the best man for the job (the job being his Defence Against the Dark Arts private tutor). He had his suspicions about whom Dumbledore might have chosen, but then, with him, you never knew.  
  
The lessons passed by rather quickly that day, and, before he knew it, Harry found himself walking down the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor, and towards the classroom at the very end. As soon as he entered the classroom, he saw the back of a wizard, and cleared his throat. The stranger turned around and smiled, and Harry let out a relieved breath;  
  
"Professor Lupin!" Harry had not seen Remus since last year, and so was bloody glad to see a familiar face.  
  
"Ahhh yes, Harry, I hoped you'd be glad to see me again." Lupin smiled a tired smile, and continued to sort through his old brief case. Harry was happy, but also rather puzzled;  
  
"Professor, what about The Order?" Lupin turned around to face him and explained;  
  
"Don't worry about it, Harry. I have to be in Hogsmeade for the next few months, so decided to offer to help you out. I know it'll be hard, what with your work load, and everything going on, but I'm afraid it is crucial that you receive extra tutoring in your Defence Against the Dark Arts." Harry nodded. He had learnt to accept that he would need training a long time ago; there was something in him which burned when he thought about Voldemort, and he knew he just had to learn how to channel that into magic.  
  
The lesson went well; Harry didn't learn any new spells, but instead he talked to Lupin about what he would be taught in these private lessons. They talked about different charms, and spells, and Harry's strengths and weaknesses. Harry felt so at home talking to Lupin; since Sirius had died, Lupin was the closest thing Harry had to a father figure.  
  
At 9 o'clock, Lupin ended the lesson, and Harry began to make his way back to Gryffindor Tower. He was walking up the main stairs, when he noticed a student ahead of him. She turned around and smiled, it was a beautiful smile, and Harry felt his stomach turn over;  
  
"Cho," Harry uttered her name, dismayed at their convenient meeting.  
  
"Evening, Harry" Cho smiled, and twirled her hair. "Haven't had one of these liaisons in a while." Harry climbed the stairs slowly to join her on the landing, and she turned around to face him.  
  
"Room of Requirement?" Cho asked Harry. He nodded; when he was around her it was hard to speak properly. This had always been something which had worried him slightly; he was so enchanted by Cho that he couldn't actually talk to her properly, and that was what he needed: someone to whom he could talk.  
  
They reached the Room of Requirement in what seemed like no time, and entered it to find a small room with cushions and a comfy carpet. Harry knew what Cho was expecting, and was more than happy to help. He rested his hand on her face, leaned down, and kissed her slowly. This carried on for a good few minutes before Cho started and said;  
  
"Oh yeah – go talk to your friend Hermione later; I saw her today and she didn't look too pleased." Cho started to laugh, and tried to carry on kissing Harry. Harry stopped her, and replied with;  
  
"What? Why was she upset?" He was concerned. Cho stifled a laugh and snorted,  
  
"Oh right, yeah, it was probably something to do with your friend Ron. I overheard someone saying he'd asked out that Padma Patil girl properly, and so thought your friend Hermione should know." Cho smiled a wicked smile, and started to giggle. Harry looked at her for a second and then frowned,  
  
"Why did you tell her?" His mood had changed all of a sudden.  
  
"Ohhh, Harry, she was going to find out sometime, and I thought I'd interrupt her pointless reading, or whatever it was she was doing." Cho tried to kiss Harry once more, but he resisted her once more.  
  
"I've got to go. See you later." Harry was so confused. Why the fuck had Ron asked out a girl he didn't even really like. Harry felt sorry for Hermione; he knew she could just about deal with Ron using Padma to fulfil his boyish needs, but would hate the thought of him actually liking her. With this thought, Harry rushed out of the room, leaving Cho standing on her own, looking entirely bemused.  
  
Harry got back to the common room to find it empty except for two people in the corner. He was surprised there weren't more people present, but then realised that it was actually rather late, and everyone had probably gone to bed. He recognized the two Gryffindor girls at once;  
  
"Hermione, Ginny," The two girls were sitting by the fire; Hermione was on a chair, her eyes red and her face streaky from tears. Ginny was crouching on the floor in front of her friend, holding her hands, and gently stroking them with her thumbs.  
  
Both the girls looked up when Harry arrived. He moved over to them, and Hermione managed an "Oh, Harry." She got up and fell into his arms. He hugged her tightly; he was going to kill Ron when he saw him.  
  
"I heard what happened, Hermione." Harry wiped her tears with his sleeve, and pressed his forehead against hers. "He doesn't really like her, I know he doesn't, and if he knew how you felt he never would have done it." Hermione's face creased up;  
  
"He does like her, though. And that awful Cho Chang coming up and telling me, of all the people from whom I could have heard it, it had to be fucking her! Now everyone knows, and they're going to be the happy couple, and he'll just forget all about me." Harry winced at the way Hermione had described Cho, but he was beginning to have serious doubts about the Ravenclaw himself; what kind of a friend was she if she purposefully hurt Hermione, one of his best friends in the whole world?  
  
It was just then that Harry realised Ginny was still there, and he turned around to see her sitting in an armchair fiddling with her nails. Hermione sobbed out that she was going to bed, gave Harry one last hug, and did the same to Ginny. She then disappeared off up the girls' staircase.  
  
"Bloody Hell. Us two always seem to end up together, eh?" Harry smiled at Ginny. She looked up,  
  
"Oh, yeah. I'm going to have words with Ron in the morning, I mean, what the hell does he think he's playing at? I was so sure he liked Hermione." Ginny looked pissed off with herself for making such a crucial misjudgement. Harry looked at her,  
  
"Ginny, he doesn't _like,_ he _loves_ her. They've been in love since about second year, and I'm not about to let the whole thing get fucked up because Ron can't keep his hands to himself. He's just doing it because he doesn't think Hermione could ever love him the way he does her."  
  
Ginny looked rather more hopeful. Both she and Harry knew that Hermione was, and would always be the only girl for Ron. It was just getting them both to realise that which would be the problem.  
  
"How did you find out about it then, Harry?" Ginny realised that Harry hadn't been in the common room all evening, and so couldn't have heard it from Ron or Hermione.  
  
"Oh, Cho told me." Harry looked uncomfortable.  
  
"Cho? And what were you doing with her so late at night?" Ginny teased Harry. She always did this. It hid her true emotions; she made out like she thought the whole affair was funny, when really it was tearing her apart inside.  
  
"Oh, erm nothing." Harry started fidgeting with his trouser leg. "I just saw her at the top of the stairs, and we got talking."  
  
"She's not nice, you know." Ginny looked up. "She doesn't like Hermione just because she cares more about her school work than her hair. Cho knows there's always been something between Ron and Hermione, the whole bloody school knows, yet she still told her."  
  
"Yeah, I know it wasn't such a good idea to tell her, but I'm sure there's a decent explanation." Harry reasoned with Ginny, but she looked like she wasn't having it, and the silence was becoming awkward.  
  
Harry stood up, "I'm off to bed, Gin, it's been a long night. I'll see you in the morning. Ginny smiled and said goodnight. Harry noticed that she looked sad when she smiled; her smile didn't reach her eyes, and that was what alarmed him.  
  
When Harry reached his dormitory, he looked over at a sleeping Ron; his curtains open, Harry could see his best friend's sleeping face.  
  
"You don't know the fucking trouble you've caused, mate." Harry muttered to a very asleep Ron. Things weren't going to be easy from now on, what with Lupin and his classes, Cho's strange behaviour towards Hermione, and, of course, Hermione and Ron. Harry smiled to himself, such was his life.  
  
Hey – Haaa, I got the next chapter up so soon, are you impressed?  
  
Thanks so much for the lovely, lovely comments;  
  
D.Domin and Hermione and Ron Forever; thank you both so much for commenting, and I am _so_ sorry about the lack of Harry/Ginny. I promise promise promise there will be some soon... I'll make it sooner than I planned to, because I know it can be fucking annoying when reading a fic. I've almost got rid of Cho, see? And once she's out of the way it'll be easy.  
  
Mithrandir, I'm still waiting on your review.  
  
I was thinking, and I am always really interested to see what the writers of fics look like, so review if you would like me to post a link for a picture of me with the next chapter, because I wish more people did it. Obviously, if you don't want one, I won't post one, and I'm nothing special or anything. Far from it, in fact.  
  
I'm going away for two weeks tomorrow, to stay with my wonderful friend up in Scotland; I'll do my best to update when I'm back, but don't expect anything before then. Thanks for being so patient with me.  
  
Wow. That was long. Cheers.  
  
Nine Alternatives. 


	12. He's Blind

Chapter 12 – Harry.

Harry awoke the next morning to find Ron still fast asleep. He shook him awake, as they only had ten minutes 'til Breakfast; the other boys had obviously thought it funny to leave them sleeping. As they were in a rush, Harry thought it better to leave the Padma Patil issue until later on, but they would need to talk about it.

They arrived at Breakfast only a couple of minutes late, and automatically tracked Hermione. She was sitting near the end of the table on her own, reading a book. Harry caught Ginny Weasley's eye, as she had seen him watching Hermione. Ginny gave him a sympathetic smile, and turned back to her friends. Harry and Ron made there way over to Hermione; Harry feeling bad and Ron feeling hungry, as he didn't know just what effect his asking Padma Patil out had had on the love of his life. Hermione looked up as they sat down, and gave Harry a small smile, but she could not look at Ron. Harry started a conversation with her about the Transfiguration book which she was reading, while Ron ate his bacon. Eventually the conversation faded out, and the three of them sat there whilst Hermione read her book with pursed lips, Harry drank his tea, and Ron ate helping after helping of bacon and eggs. This was so typical, thought Harry; Hermione angry because of Ron, Ron totally clueless, and Harry in the middle with a cup of tea.

Once Breakfast was over, Harry, Ron and Hermione started making their way towards the main staircase, when Padma Patil walked past, and flicked her long dark hair over her shoulder. She turned round and smiled at Ron, and he gave her a very embarrassed smile back, whilst his ears turned pink. Hermione pretended not to notice, but looked defiantly put out, and Harry sniggered to himself.

Potions in the morning dragged on forever, and, as it was Snape's class, Harry and Ron didn't get a proper chance to talk. It was so uneventful; Malfoy didn't even make any snide comments. He seemed to have calmed down lately.. No one quite knew why.

Lunch time found Harry and Ron sitting in the common room, doing the Potions homework which Snape had just set them. They were getting nowhere, and they both had a free afternoon, so just decided to leave it. Harry decided he was going to have to bring up the subject of Padma sometime, and Hermione seemed to have made herself scarce, so this was it.

"So, you and Padma, eh?" Harry raised his eyebrow at Ron, and sat back in his chair.

"Errr.. Yeah. So you heard?"

"Everyone heard, mate.. Everyone's talking about it."

"Really?" Ron looked embarrassed but also rather pleased that people were talking about him for once.

"Yeah. I was talking to Hermione about it yesterday..." Harry trailed off, and looked up at Ron, with a questioning expression on his face. Ron looked uncomfortable and shuffled in his seat;

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Right..."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Ron. This has bloody well gone on for long enough. What about Hermione?!" Harry sounded exasperated, and Ron gave him a sideways glance saying,

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Ron, why aren't you going out with her?"

"...What? Hermione's just a friend." Ron looked uncomfortable once again, and Harry couldn't be bothered to pursue it. Ron could make his own mistakes if he wanted to.

"Right. Whatever, just think about it." Harry had given up, but Ron just looked confused. So Harry changed the subject and they began talking about Quidditch, or something similar.

Harry concluded that Ron would come round eventually, and, in the mean time, Hermione would just have to live with it, however hard that might be for her. But he had other things to think about. For one, he needed to decide about Cho; he had been thinking a lot about the two of them, and could see that nothing was ever going to come of it. He was at her beck and call, yet he couldn't speak to her. He just couldn't do it. She had a strange sort of power over him, and he really didn't like that. He wanted to find a girl who understood him, one to whom he could talk, and Cho was certainly not the answer. But then there was a problem: Harry really did like those midnight meetings, and he was a teenage boy, who would surely become frustrated if he had no one to keep him occupied.

Time passed slowly but surely, and the Quidditch season had unveiled itself rather nicely; the final was to be between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, and would be held in five weeks' time. This meant that Harry was spending rather a lot of time poring over magical boards, poking multi-coloured squiggles with his wand in a rather Wood-esque fashion. He had increased the amount of training sessions to four times a week. The rest of the team didn't seem to mind so much, but Harry could see that the work load, along with the Quidditch practises were taking their toll on Ginny and Colin Creevey, Ginny especially. It was obvious to anyone that she was tired; Harry would catch Ron just watching her anxiously in the Common Room, worrying about whether or not she was alright.

"All she ever does is work now.. I swear this isn't healthy. D'you think she's alright? I mean, she'd tell me if there were something wrong, wouldn't she?" Ron would say to the other two. Hermione would console him, and ensure him that Ginny was fine, and that she would tell him if something was up. Harry could see why Ron was worried; Ginny had dark circles under her eyes, and she always looked like she was thinking about other things, but whenever she was asked whether she was okay, she would always reply with an "_Oh yeah, I'm fine_", and then occupy herself with fiddling with her robe.

The trio had been rather bored for a week because not much had been going on, and were just sitting down to eat dinner on a Friday evening in February when Dumbledore stood up to make the evening's announcements.

"Students in all years are reminded, by Mr Filch, to keep away from the Forbidden Forest for their own safety." The Hogwarts students rolled their eyes at this message; they were reminded to keep away from The Forest at least three times a week, and had quite clearly got the message by now. Dumbledore then smiled and said:

"And, for our older students, we have arranged a treat; we know the stress of impending important exams can sometimes become somewhat unbearable, which is why there will be a ball for 5th, 6th and 7th years in exactly three weeks time." The hall fell silent at this... The students old enough to attend the ball were whispering excitedly to each other about outfits and the like, while the students in 4th year and below were fuming at being too young.

Harry turned round to Ron;

"Oh, well that's just great. Now we've got to ask people to go with us." Ron looked round at him and said,

"Well, you know, I'll just ask Padma again, because, like, she'll say yes and stuff, so..."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that, mate. You're sorted then, eh?"

"It would appear so. What about you?"

"Well... I dunno..."

"You could always ask that Cho girl." Ron didn't particularly like Cho, but he couldn't think of anyone else whom Harry could take to the ball.

"Yeah, I think I might, actually."

"Mmm, but you'd better get in there quick, I mean, I hear she's got quite a few admirers and so on."

"Yeah, we'll see." Harry caught sight of Cho across the hall, gossiping with her friends about the ball, no doubt. She really was _very_ pretty, and Harry was pretty sure she'd say yes, so he'd have to get round to asking her soon. He turned back round to the table, just in time to hear Ron ask Hermione about with whom she thought she might go to the ball:

"So, Hermione, who're you thinking might ask you?" Hermione looked up, and scowled:

"Oh, I doubt anyone'll ask me, I probably won't even go. It'll be a waste of time, anyway." Hermione started to stand up, "Anyway, I've just got to nip to the library for a bit, so I'll see you two later." And, with that, she left, and, as she walked out, Harry saw her wipe her eye with her sleeve. He looked round at Ron, who was fiddling with the leftovers from his meal, and sighed. Ron mumbled something like "Oh, someone's bound to ask her", and poured himself more pumpkin juice.

Ginny

Ginny sat in the comfort of her dormitory gossiping with her room mates about the ball. It was all so sudden. Ginny supposed that the teachers had seen how stressed most of the students were becoming, and so decided to cheer them up a bit. The girls talked about who might ask them to the ball, about whom they'd i like /i to ask them to the ball, and about what they were going to wear. They all decided they'd wear dresses instead of normal dress robes, as some muggle dresses were simply spectacular.

Ginny thought about what she could wear. She was worried; all her friends could buy dresses for themselves easily, but the Weasleys simply didn't have the money. She sat there pondering it for a while, and then she thought of it. Yes, yes, she knew what she could wear; Molly had a beautiful dress which she'd loved as a girl, and couldn't bear to give away. She'd have to send Errol home to get it, which could take a while, so she decided to owl her mother the next day.

Right. Took me ages. Apologies. I've got a hellish amount of school work etc etc. I'll enjoy writing the next chapter, so it shouldn't take too long.

Thank you so much to anyone who reviewed. Please review again, or, if you haven't done so before, please do!

Miss I-love-adam-brody, I did try to make the chapter longer, I know what you mean; short chapters annoy me too, so I'm terribly sorry about that (and I am in love with Adam Brody too).

Thanks for reading,

Nine Alternatives.


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